Can I help you? You’re interviewing your coworkers on their takes on weddings, right? Uh … Uh. Fine. Okay. Here we go. I don’t understand why gay men need to get matching tuxedos when they get married. Like, was there, like, a 2-for-1 sale? One big patriarchal nightmare. An old man gives a young woman away to another man. While she covers herself in a veil of purity. Or are they twins? Did you know the original bouquet was made of garlic to ward off evil spirits and protect the bride? When I get married, I’m going to walk myself down the aisle. Or you just, like, lose any sort of identity you have once you get married. Well, I think that maybe they’re just trying to be cute. Oh, no. No. Jane. It’s embarrassing and infantilizing. And then, tossing the bouquet prevented rabid, desperate single women from scratching out the bride, trying to get a piece of her good luck. Yay. Marriage equality. Can I get one person who likes weddings?